Best Friends

8/08/2011

My best friends now are my family, my camera, clothes, hijab, and blog. 

Before I wore hijab, I have uncounted friends. my phone always rang so often, my bbm was so busy, and I never stayed too long at my place because of work and too busy have fun with friends. Clubbing, cafe', hedonism at mall, etc etc. I never tought about sin, I never think  about God, I eat pig, drank liquor and sedative. Everyone think My life was seems so fun and colorful. I was like a flowing person who had no problem. but nope. I feel empty inside. I cried of the things that I did't know about what. I laugh a lot but the heart keep told me that It was not funny at all. "don't pretended that you are happy, iya. Don't!" my heart always said so. 

This year was amazing year for me. After I broke up with my 7-years boyfriends, Allah gave me a clue. Every time I cried I always think about Him. Why my life was became like this? what exactly He wanted me to be? I'm so frustrated. I spent a week just to cry and think about my life, and what Allah wanted from me. Then I clicked the internet to amuse myself, and accidentally read about illuminati thingy and the signs of the end of the day.

Really? the end of the day is soooo near? i never think about that before. 

Because I was extremely curious, then I opened the Qur'an, chapter by chapter, then again I cried a lot. but this time I cried not because I was too frustrated about my future, but because I realize about myself that I didn't think about it before. I was a girl FULL of sins and Hell is heading me. I don't want to go hell.  Who wanted to?

Then, I learned Qur'an and hadist, then slowly improving my life became much better. I stopped drank liquor (and honestly that was hard because my friends always forced me). I told them some fake reason that will make them understand, but the un-avoided fact is... they just never want to understand. And that's why I started to think about something that could protect me from my 'bad' friends who always forced me to do a bunch of bad things. 

Hijab was my answer.

After I wore hijab, I refuse to take a job that requires me to took off my hijab. some of my friends was laughing at me and said "are you became a terrorist or something?" gezzz... what a NICE words came out from a mouth friends who always said "I care about you" every time I cried about the silly things. And few friend asked me "are you been inspired by someone else style so you decide to wear hijab?" or "don't throw all your hot pants and mini dress cuz I know you will open up your hijab someday,"

I wore hijab for the sake of Allah. I wore hijab because I seek a refuge and forgiveness from Allah. I wore hijab because I was afraid If I die tomorrow, which life I would enter? hell or heaven? cuz for me, that options is the reason why Allah sent us to earth. To CHOOSE. 

And now, here is me. the truly I am. Although my friends had left me one by one, but I thank to Allah because of that. He kept me away from all the things that could give me such a bad influences. Allah is always with me, my family is still here with me, I can still have fun with my camera, my clothes, hijab, and blog that became one of my close friends recently, and of course to all my lovely followers and others who visited here.  I wore hijab since April and still have a lot to learn about how to wear it properly.

thanks to Ʋƨɐɠɪ ❤ who inspired me to write down and share this story. 

salam~

9 comments :

  1. everyone have its own process,own timing and own way to be at this stage like you now...
    happy to knowing that you are in the right way...

    *doooh.....i have to learn using english much much more,

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  2. This is such a touching story, and you are very brave to leave your past life behind and embrace renewal of your faith. I am very impressed with your refusal to remove your hijab just to get a job, not a lot of people are as passionate and committed such as you.

    Good luck, and I'm sure you will meet true friends who will accept you and respect your outlooks and beliefs.

    All the best!

    Wi
    chichismusings.blogspot.com

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  3. :O !!!!!
    OMG!!!! I inspired you <3 <3 <3 Waaaahhhhhh!!!! Iya you have no idea how happy this makes me! I loved reading this and for you I will write about my changes and what happened with me and Islam~ I was thinking of writing a link to your post too while reading because it's so beautiful when people share such stories. I am very happy for you and pray that Allah grants you happiness here and in the hereafter. We have a lot in common :) Your changes are similar to mine and how we used to live.

    You will def. find people who care for you. I think first Allah needs us to love ourselves and him before we can find true friends who bring us closer to Allah.

    Allah does save his servants and we are living proof of change and courage! <3 Lets continue to inspire Muslimah's~ xx

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  4. P.S. You also inspire me! I really hope to wear my hijab soon! <3

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  5. I really love this <3 Hijab is the Answer :) Don't worry Allah will find you friends that will be good in the life and benefit you in the long run :)

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  6. I <3 your story to hijaab! I can really relate to your story :) All them emotions of when I put my hijaab on just came back to me!!! Allah keep you happy sister,
    Masha'Allah ^^,
    Peace out
    L ^^, x
    www.latifah-lamees.blogspot.com

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  7. MashAllah sister, I hope so much good things for you and I am happy for you that you gave up on those bad things :)

    I am wearing hijab myself also, and nobody ever forced me, but the thing is not so much covering my head, but yes, reminding me about islam!

    So your story inspired me and helped me to remember that why I am wearing hijab :)

    All the best for you <3

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  8. Thanks for sharing this :) I'm really inspired by your story...wish you all the best!

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  9. This is lovely! Do what you feel is right and the rest will unfold beautifully, god willing. :) <3

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